To Clap or Not to Clap?

In LOL on May 19, 2011 by The Spillover

Thank you, Jon Acuff, for satirical gems like this.

Wow, that was a beautiful performance. I loved that special music. Wait, is that a term we’re still using? “Special music?” Did we retire that because it sounds old fashioned? Kind of how like people are not saying “Sunday School” anymore but instead say, “I went to life group” or “my community group?”

If so, is there a new term I should be using? Instead of “special music,” should I say, “Song that only one person sang, who often doesn’t sing, but did today and we didn’t sing along we just listened to it together as a congregation?” That’s really long.

Regardless, that was a beautiful song. One acoustic guitar player, one girl singing slowly and quietly. But it just ended and I’m not sure if I should clap. I want to clap, it was awesome and inspired me to clap, but does boisterous applause ruin the “we’re all quietly contemplating the intimacy and tenderness of the Lord” vibe that just started?

We’re all just sitting here, on the verge of clapping, you can feel the tension. Maybe I should scream out “Jesusssss!!!!” like that guy at the Christian concert? Soft golf clap? Murmur of approval? Where are we headed with this thing?

Maybe a minister who they don’t let preach but always have do the announcements will jump up and tell us, “Let’s give a round of applause for that performance.” But if he doesn’t should I start it? Dare I go so boldly into a clapless situation with my own two hands? What if I start it and it doesn’t build? What if I expect other people to join me in this act of support like at the end of the movie Dead Poet’s Society and no one does? If that happens I better make sure it’s a fast clap, because a single slow clap is the audience equivalent of leaving 1 penny as a tip. It’s better to have no one applaud then one guy in the back of the room who is slowly clapping.

But come on, we gotta clap! That song was awesome.

If we are the body, why aren’t our hands clapping? Is that Casting Crowns? I bet they would know what to do in this situation. Because I don’t, I really don’t.

One Response to “To Clap or Not to Clap?”

  1. We are blessed to have SO much musical talent at Calvary, I truly cannot help it most of the time. Worshiping Jesus is something to celebrate, right?! But this post is so funny because there really are those times where you feel a quiet reverence and don’t want to break it. 🙂 This was a good laugh.

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